This is an outlet for all my nonsense- If you don't like it, you can just go eat a bag of dicks :)

It’s fairly common for people to make a New Years resolution to lose weight. (I’m one of those people too.) They get up the morning of January 1st, weigh themselves and say, “This is the year I lose those extra pounds!” Now that we are nearly 2 weeks into January I wonder how many people are still going strong and who gave up already. 

I used to make New Years resolutions about losing X amount of pounds and I always disappointed myself. My goals were never realistic. Going back to the year 2011, I wanted to lose 70 pounds; I had about 100 pounds to lose total though. In 2012 I lost about 20-25 pounds over the course of the year. In 2013 I only lost about 10 pounds. In 2014, I lost 25 pounds, but had already gained back 5 of them by the time December was coming to a close. By 2015 I had gained back nearly all the weight I had lost in 2014. I was so ashamed of myself. I went back and forth gaining and losing the same 10-15 pounds all year and by December of 2015 I gave up and resolved to be better in 2016. 

I lost steam pretty early in 2016. By June I hadn’t lost any weight at all and the pressure to look half-way decent for my wedding in October finally got me going. I soon discovered the Ketogenic Diet and quickly put all my eggs in that basket. (Literally, I ate SO MANY eggs.) From July to mid-October I lost 27 pounds. Just enough weight for my dress to fit because it was 2 sizes too small when I bought it. (I didn’t plan on buying a dress that was too small, but it just worked out that way because it was a discontinued style.) 

Id like to say that I closed out December stronger than ever, but alas, the holiday feasts got the better of me and 8 of the pounds I lost crept back on. I vowed yet again; to be better in January. 

I can happily say that as of today, I’m still going strong. I’m down 7 pounds so far! I successfully attended a kids birthday party and avoided such temptations as cake or ice cream. Instead of having my ultimate goal weight in my head for this year, like years in the past, I’m focusing on small milestones and easy to achieve goals. January 1st 2017 I made it my goal to lose 15 pounds by my birthday, which is in the beginning of April. That’s 4 months to lose 15 pounds and I’ve already lost 7. Even if it did take me until April to lose those other 8 pounds, I would be at the lowest weight I’ve seen since 2008/2009. And that’s a big deal! 

No weight loss post would be complete without some progress pictures so here we go: 

First we have January 1st 2016 vs December 31st 2016 
This is a comparison of Christmas 2015 vs 2016. A similar timeline but I think it shows some more differences. 

This last comparison really blows my mind. Me trying on wedding dresses sometime in early 2016 vs my wedding day in October. 

And a bonus shot, because dammit, I look pretty. 


The Red Review: Day 5 

I realize I’m about a week late to give you the final installment of The Red Review, but here it is anyway. Today’s red is “Creeper” from Colourpop. Retail price $6.

Beginning of day versus end of day. The color stayed pretty bright, even though it seemed to transfer onto everything. 

Coffee test- pass. Husband test-fail. I found it annoying that even the slightest peck of a kiss left my hubby this way. 

You can’t see much wear on my lips, but there is smudging around my bottom lip that happened after eating/drinking. 

My final score is 4 out of 5 stars. You really can’t beat the $6 price tag for this quality; it outlasted my Kat Von D by several hours. My lips don’t feel too dry, which is a big plus for liquid lipsticks. And even though it transferred more than some others, the color stayed vivid. 

The Red Review: Day 4

Today’s red is…. Unicorn Blood from Jeffree Starr. I know it’s not a “true red” like the others, but I LOVE this shade. It’s definitely my favorite lip color. Retail Price $18

I couldn’t be bothered with any other makeup today, so here I am with a bare face and blood red lips. 

Coffee test- better than expected. 

Lunch test- fail. (Salad: 1 Unicorn Blood: 0)

End of day and some close-ups.

As much as I LOVE the shade of this lipstick, it doesn’t make up for the fact that the color won’t make it past lunch. On the bright side, my lips didn’t feel nearly as dry as some of the other lipsticks. With all that being said, and considering the price tag of $18, I give this one 3.5 out of 5 stars. 

The Red Review: Day 3

Today’s liquid lipstick is “American Doll” from Anastasia Beverly Hills. Retail price $20

Indoor light vs natural sunlight. 

This is one of those classic blue reds that supposedly looks good on everyone. I think it makes my teeth look whiter. 

Coffee test- fail

Mid-day. Unfortunately this lipstick did not make it past lunch. It could almost pass for an attempt at ombré. Almost. 

Chicken salad on croissant:1 American Doll: 0

Although I love the color, I can’t give this lipstick high marks considering it barely lasted 5 hours, it comes with a higher-end price tag, and it transferred very easily, which drives me nuts! 

Final score 2.75 out of 5 stars. 

Today’s red is Kat Von D’s Everlasting Liquid Lipstick in “Outlaw”. Retail price $20

This was not only the first red lipstick that I bought, but it was also my first liquid lipstick. (This was only 2 years ago, so I’m sure it’s still fine to use…right? Haha)

(Indoor light vs natural sunlight)

Coffee test. Not great. And I had to clean up my chin a little bit afterwards. 

We are at the 6-7 hour mark here. There is some wear on the inside of my lips, just like yesterday. The color seems to have faded a bit also. 

End of day. Around 10 hours of wear. The color has really faded throughout the day. And my lips feel hella dry. 

Overall I think I’d have to give this 3.5 out of 5 stars. Mostly because of how easily it transfers, but also for loss of pigment. 

Bonus picture of my eye makeup today. I was very proud haha. 

And bonus outfit picture, in case you were wondering what I’d wear on a Tuesday with a full face of makeup and bright red lipstick 😂

The Red Review: Day 1

Since I have some extra time on my hands this week, I decided to do a makeup review for fun. 

Each day this week I will review a different red, liquid lipstick. Not only are red lips classic and timeless, but I happen to have five different shades from five different brands! 

Today is Day 1 and we will begin with Milani’s Amore Matte Lip Creme. (Damn, that was a mouthful.) The color is called “Desire.” Retail price $9.00

Soft indoor light vs natural sunlight. (Ignore the stupid expression on my face, as I hadn’t been awake very long and didn’t have coffee yet.)

Coffee test. To be fair, there was coconut oil in my coffee, otherwise it probably wouldn’t have transferred as much. 

(Indoor light vs sunlight again.) Mid afternoon / early evening ~6 hours of wear. After 2 cups of coffee, breakfast, and lunch, the only noticeable wear is the very inside of my lips. The color is still very bright and pigmented. 

After eating dinner and going to Zumba class, this is how my lips look after ten hours. Still very little wear. This lipstick holds up very well. 

This lipstick gets very high marks for color quality, longevity, and transfer. My lips did feel pretty dry by the end of the night, but after removing the color and putting on some lip balm, my lips felt fine. 

I’m not sure if any lipstick could get 5 out of 5 stars, but this one would be very close. 

Final Score: 4.5 out of 5

My Weight Loss Journey

I have struggled with my weight since I was a teenager.  I was a normal weight for most of my childhood, but around age 13-14 I started to chunk out.  I blame puberty to a certain degree for affecting my hormones/mood/cravings, but I know that I wasn’t very active at that age.  I stayed indoors mostly (my love affair with books started around this time) and I drank a lot of soda and I ate too much junk food. When I had to enroll for my first year of high school, I remember dreading the line for the room with the nurse.  It was just a room with a scale and a lady with a clipboard.  I weighed in ~200 pounds.

I struggled through my teenage years to lose some of that extra weight.  I remember how great it felt when someone would compliment me on my weight loss.  I craved that approval and it gave me the motivation to keep trying new ways of losing weight.  I was never concerned about being healthy, I was only focused on the number on the scale and how to make sure it was getting lower.  My self worth was dictated by those 3 numbers.  I tried starving myself.  I remember one time that I had gone a few days without eating and being embarrassed by the loud, cavernous screams of my empty stomach in the middle of class.  I would eventually binge and then feel horrible about myself.  After that, I would either try and force myself to throw up or take laxatives.

By my senior year of high school I was waking up at 5am to get in a workout at the YMCA before school.  In college I started joining group exercise classes, my favorite being “Super Step” which combined your typical step class with zumba (even though zumba wasn’t really a thing yet.)  In 2007 (age 19) my good friend, who had also struggled with her weight, started taking Adderol.  (Her boyfriend at the time was a drug dealer.)  I was amazed by her weight loss and bought some pills from her to try for myself.  Adderol was awesome.  I was never hungry and I had crazy amounts of energy to work out. I got down to 159 pounds, which is the lowest of my adult life, but it didn’t come without consequences.  Adderol ruined my sleep rhythm (and I have never gotten that back 100% and it’s been almost a decade.)  One night I laid in bed for what felt like hours, feeling like my heart was going to explode out of my chest.  It scared me so badly that I stopped taking the pills immediately.

Fast forward a couple years to 2009 and I was recently married and back up to 200 pounds. This weight gain was due to laziness and poor eating.  I went from exercising and watching my portions to no exercising and adopting the diet of my twenty-something husband. It’s not fair, but a 5’5 woman can’t eat the same portions as a 6’4 male without gaining weight.  I understand that now. By 2011 I ballooned to over 250 pounds. (I stopped weighing myself, so it’s possible I made it to 260.)  My marriage was not working and living hundreds of miles from my friends and family, I turned to food to comfort me.  I moved back in with my parents and my husband left.

In 2012-2013 I had some success with myfitnesspal and counting calories to get myself on track.  (I ate a lot of lean cuisines.)  I bought a fitness bracelet and started tracking my steps.  My mom and I would go walk at the high school track at night so I could try to reach my step goal.  I was a able to lose 30 pounds just by walking and tracking my calories. Pretty soon, I graduated from late night walks to Zumba class twice a week.  By 2014 I was back under 200 pounds!  (194 pounds being my lowest.)  I was happy, healthy, feeling confident, got a promotion at work, so it’s no surprise that in December 2014 I met someone and fell in love.  I maintained my weight at first, but within 6 months the scale crept back up to 205.  Last year we got engaged and bought a house, the scale crept to 215 pounds.

Last month I really started to feel the pressure since we are getting married in October.  (I bought a dress that was too small because it was the last one left.)  What am I going to do if my dress doesn’t fit?!  I finally decided to buckle down and get serious about losing weight again.  I’m on week 4 doing Keto and I am blown away!  I’ve lost 12 pounds already and my dress is so close to zipping up all the way.

I am more focused now on the fact that I feel healthier and that my clothes fit better and I try not to get hung up on the numbers.  Having a supportive, encouraging partner who loves me unconditionally has also helped me tremendously.  He has never and would never say anything negative about my weight/appearance or try to degrade me like other loved ones in my past.  My journey is far from being over, but I definitely feel like I am moving in the right direction.

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